"I am harder than a diamond in an ice storm!!!"
"Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers."
"Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence."